Normally professional, highly functioning individuals can quickly turn to hesitant, nervous wallflowers when thrust beyond their comfort zone. However being pushed slightly past what’s safe and familiar usually has amazing results! If you are passionate and knowledgeable about something, it’s difficult to keep it contained.

When it comes to fundraising, marketing, dealing with media, or making a presentation, there is no one right way to do it. Many people are so afraid of not doing these kinds of things the "right" way that they do nothing at all. That will only lead to nothing! And think of the opportunities that are missed in spreading your message.

The best approach is to arm yourself with basic knowledge, and be yourself. Most people would rather listen to, and respond to, one heartfelt, inspiring story in a speech, media interview or appeal, than a slick, precisely choreographed presentation.

More often than not, fear is rooted in your own thoughts and doubts, rather than the actual situation. Many people who make themselves sick over making a speech or conducting an interview, are the same people others admire for doing it so well.

So rather than dispense with some communications advice, today I’m offering an interesting take on how to self-coach yourself, courtesy of my friend Pamela Slim and originating from her friend, Brooke Castillo. Both of these women are professional coaches who are associated with Martha Beck.

The bottom line of the formula is like so:

CIRCUMSTANCES

can trigger

THOUGHTS

cause

FEELINGS

cause

ACTIONS

cause

RESULTS

Here’s how it could play out:

Negative Feeling : I feel discouraged and I’m not getting anywhere on my fundraising plan for the year. 

Circumstance : The fundraising goal is not on schedule.

Thought : Fundraising is pushy and people don’t want to hear from me.

Feeling : I feel discouraged and I’m not getting anywhere. I’m not good at this and people won’t like me.

Action : Awkward, weak discussions with prospects and procrastinating follow up.

Result : No progress on fundraising goal.

See what happens when the thought changes:

Circumstance : The fundraising goal is not on schedule.

Thought : Fundraising is important and I am giving people who are interested in our work the opportunity to make a difference. This is rewarding for both of us.

Feeling : I feel motivated, confident and open and alert to opportunities that fit.

Action : Sincere and passionate discussions with qualified prospects; take advantage of every opportunity to spread the word.

Result : Positive relationships and profile leading to donations.

Of course, it takes more work than a simple cut and paste of your thoughts. But being aware of the origin of your discomfort, and having the courage to realize when it is having a negative affect on your actions is a constructive effort you can make to achieve greater results, personally and professionally.